Quick update

I took a pain pill and some Benadryl for the nausea. I felt a"gush" :tmi: while I was taking a nap in that sorta awake/asleep place. I didn't get up because I've been wearing a pad (which no doubt med invented!) because I don't know if the bleeding will start slow like it normally does or if it's going to be quick and heavy. Anyway, once I woke up and went to the bathroom and wipe (before I peed,) and there was a load of cream cm that was brownish red. It has begun. As I'm sitting here the cramps are starting back in. I know once the blood starts freely flowing I'll bawl like a baby again but I'm so glad that it's starting.

On another note, (I know two posts in one day, I dont think you're supposed to do that) DH and I were talking. He gets out of the military in May of 2011. After that if I'm not pregnant (praying to God I am) we won't be able to afford the fertility treatments any more. Most insurance in Alabama won't even pay for the u/s to monitor Clomid usage. It won't pay anything for my RE appointments as far as I can tell. Our journey will be over. We talked and decided that October/November time frame we'll go ahead and get the adoption process started. The background checks, answer all the questions, everything to get approved. By February/March of 2011 if I'm not pregnant and the endo is causing pain I'm going to go ahead and have a hysterectomy. If the endo isn't bad we'll still do the adoption route but no hysterectomy and keep trying naturally praying for a miracle. I think I will be pregnant by then but at the same time I KNOW that no matter how much we want a child I CANNOT go through multiple miscarriages like my mom did. I'm hoping and praying that my body just wasn't ready to grow a healthy baby and a little more time will change that but I'm relieved to have a game plan.