Another day

I am so ready for this crap to be over. It doesn't mean I'm not sad anymore, it doesn't mean I'll forget my angel baby. This limbo crap is tiring. I'm ready to start TTC again. I want to start now but DH said no because the doctor said wait a cycle. I know that is best that just doesn't make it easier. I know I will be a nervous wreck when (not if) I get pregnant again. I know I will be testing every morning, though not until after my period is due and I won't call the doctor until I hit five or six weeks. I am ready to start trying again though. I won't let fear take over.

My ER trip went quick for the ER. I was taken to triage within 2 minutes of signing in and straight from triage to a "room". I went and peed in a cup as soon as I got back there. Once I did that I went back to my area and changed into a gown. I had time to do that and get on the bed, not even covered up with the sheet, and the doctor came in. All in all I talked to the doctor, peed in a cup, got discharged, got a pill, got a ultrasound, all in less than 3 hours. Apparently being pregnant and having a miscarriage gets you back pronto. The ultrasound confirmed that my tubes were clear. I have a small cyst on my right ovary and a small cyst on my left ovary. Nothing new there, that's an everyday thing. It also confirmed that my uterus is empty. He didn't really have an explanation as to why I haven't started bleeding yet. He did say that I should start within the next 48 hours...pretty much that there's no way I won't.

I went ahead Thursday and called the clinic on base and made an appointment for anxiety/panic attacks and not sleeping. It's Thursday morning. I'll keep it if I need it. I've battled anxiety and panic attacks since i was in 2nd grade though nobody new at the time that's what it was. Everybody just though I was being a brat and didn't want to go to school. I've battled depression off and on since I was 13. I wanted to make sure I had that appointment set up in case things didn't get any better for me. I'll probably keep it even if I'm feeling *better* just because I know I'll have bad days still and just knowing I have the sleeping and anxiety pills will help.

I've still gotta go get my Lortab 7.5 prescription filled. I just didn't feel like sitting in Walgreens forever last night.